Crystal Williams
ENG 102
RR 1
Question: Each story describes a relationship between a man and a woman. What message do you think these authors are giving about romantic relationships and friendships? What in the stories helps you support that this is the message they are communicating?
Relationships between men and women tend to follow the normal dichotomy of masculine and feminine roles such as women clean, and men bring home the bacon. What I have seen in the three short stories "Cathedral" by Raymond Carver, "Dubliners" by James Joyce, and "The story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin is a slight reversal of roles. These stories painted the relationships among its respective players in a different light. An example of this is the emotional (or lack there of) expression of the characters in the stories. For a very long time, men and women have been lead to believe that women are the emotional and illogical counterparts in relationships. However in these stories I have perceived men to act in jealous and spiteful ways (as shown in "Cathedral" by the husband aka protagonist of the story), and women ("The Story of a Hour" by the wife who dies of joy) who act in a heartless manor that would be taken as unbecoming of her. Even in "Dubliners" the reader can witness Captain Scincos' wife having a inappropriate relationship with Mr. Duffy.
In both "Dubliners" and "Cathedral" a presumably inappropriate relationship proceeded among women who were married. In "Dubliners", Captain Scincos' wife started a friendship with Mr. Duffy that started out very innocent and fell to the wayside in The Captains' eyes since he did not think anyone would want his wife. After a time, the relationship began to gain momentum which eventually led Mrs. Scinco to cut the relationship short. She may have felt guilty or saddened since she was emotionally and intellectually cheating on her husband and could not give Mr. Duffy what he deserved. One can only assume that is what she may have felt when she "caught up his hand passionately and pressed it to her cheek" (pg 4). This sort of infidelity is also displayed in "Cathedral" by Raymond Carver. The wife connected with her old boss for years which forged a deep bond between the two that troubled the husband. The jealousy that the husband felt is displayed all through out the story. However, the emotion sticks out most to me on pg 4. The wife has a conversation with her old blind boss in her house in which they speak of everything that happened to them in the last ten years. Not once was the husband mentioned and it bothered him deeply. The husband also continues to make little jabs at the blind man such as "regular blind jack of all trades", "can I take him bowling" and a underlying, racist, immature jab at his deceased wife "her name was Beulah. Beulah! That's the name for a colored woman." Taking all of this into account and comparing it to what we know as a typical man and woman relationship, the man seems to play the emotional role of the women. Typically, we perceive women to be jealous, catty, and emotional. However, the main character in "Cathedral" is all of these things, and Mr. Duffy from "Dubliners" is emotional. You see the husband in "Cathedral" make fun of someone who he felt was less than him (as seen by hid consistent blind man jabs) only to find out that he is more successful than him which added to his insecurity. Insecurity is a illogical emotion that tends to be tied to women, NOT men. Men are put in a light where they can not show (or should not show) their emotions. This character shows every last bit of it, and makes himself look weak. Weakness is also another character trait that society deems "unfit" for a man to display. These type of actions are ones you would typically see from a woman who feel threatened by another woman. Not one that you see coming from a man. In the story "Dubliners", Mr. Duffy runs from the affection from a woman and later regrets his decision. What I have seen in this story is a progression and growth a character which was stunted by a terrible turn of events, Mr. Duffy becomes angry, spiteful and livid when he hears the news of his lovers' death (pg 5). He exhibits irrational behavior by calling her a liar and low. We watch him go through stages of grief and this is something you tend to see a woman do when they lose a lover. He becomes irate and emotional (feminine societal stereotype), but does not outwardly show it (masculine societal stereotype). Mr. Duffy has a balance of the two that the husband in "Cathedral" does not seem to possess.
If you were to look at any online dating profile all of the women would say that they are looking for "intelligent conversation" from a potential mate. However in both "Dubliners" and "Cathedral" this is something that the males of the stories loved. The blind man from "Cathedral" had long deep conversations with the protagonists' wife (which was the real true source of the husbands' jealousy), and Mr. Duffy from "Dubliners" had intellectual conversation with Mrs. Scinco which lead him to eventually fall for her. These sort of relationships not built on physical traits would have no doubt been a stake in the heart to the relationships that they respectfully offend. It is often said that women cheat emotionally and intellectually, while men cheat physically. This could be what troubles the protagonist in "Cathedral" so, since he knows there is no way to compete with the bond his wife forged with her old boss. She truly loved him and not in a physical manner. It was beyond that. Anyone can sympathize with the husband. That is a hard pill to swallow. Mr. Duffys' relationship with Mrs. Scinco threatened to become a problem in her life as well as his. Since she was already taken, it is only right to assume that Mr. Duffy would have always felt second to her life and home that she has already created for herself. Who knows if she could fully commit to Mr. Duffy if she could not do so for her current husband? Even these situations turn the age old stereotypes of what in feminine and masculine in relationships on its head. In many situations outside of these stories, the man is usually the one to cheat on his wife. That is not the case here, where we see women (in some ways) step out of the relationship to confide in and talk to someone out side of their respective marriages. We see men jealous and afraid to lose their mates. Another thing that struck me as important was the sex of the authors. In the stories where you see the men act out emotion, both of the authors are male. In the story where the woman has a lack of emotion for her mate, the author is female. Also, in the stories with male authors, the old wives tale that men and women can not be friends is pushed. While the blind man and the wife in "Cathedrals" never admitted any love or emotional attachment, I can clearly see that those two things are apparent. The wife tells him everything and even writes a poem about him (a deep and thoughtful act), which deeply bothers her husband. In "Dubliners", the author shows how innocent and simple conversation can lead to a deeper bond, a lovers connection. In contrast, the story written by a woman (Kate Chopin), friendship is the last thing on her mind.
In "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin, we see a presumably widowed wife die of joy upon news of her husbands' death. She first cries then switches emotions, happy to be free from someone she clearly did not want to be tied to anymore. In most cases through out society, you hear of the grieving widow, and men that can not WAIT to get out of their relationships. This story turns those implications inside out and shows you another side. The woman here cries of freedom and finally being able to rely on herself (pg 2). She thought of her husband in death and could only feel an overwhelming sense of freedom, of joy, "Free, body and soul free", she whispered, as if afraid someone would hear her. She felt "strong impulses in her body" and even admitted to not loving him. Once again, these are usual masculine traits in relationships. You see this displayed in most shows and even movies. The lead character could only think of the days that lie a head and how she was going to conquer them with out her counterpart. Then when she comes down stairs and sees her husband, SNAP! She dies, I can only infer that she felt this great sense of loss when she discovered him in good health and saw the freedom slip through her fingers. She watched the blue sky earlier (when she though of him as dead) and felt this sense of calm. A flowing, if you will. When she showed up it was life a smack in the face, as if the noose was placed around her neck and the heart (the one that should love him) was in fact disgusted and seized, as if never wanting to forget the overwhelming joy she felt moments ago. The way she thought of her relationship reminds me of what an inmate would think of jail. In some ways it seems like a mental rape (I can not confirm a physical rape with certainty, but her thoughts could be perceived that way) when she thinks of "there will be no powerful will bending hers in the blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature." She had such harsh thoughts about her lover and her relationship which completely parallel what society sees as a "good wife". She reminds me of the wives from the 60's who hated their abusive husbands but stayed for children or financial security.
In conclusion, I feel that these stories bend gender roles and also show men in a more sensitive light and women in a harder fashion (the wife in "Dubliners" taking her life/ emotionally cheating, the wife in "Cathedrals" taking a stand against her husbands' wise cracks/ emotionally cheating, and the wife in "The Story of a Hour" celebrating her husband's death). These are things that are usually seen as outside of the atypical gender roles in society. The men experience a whole range of emotions that the women do not take part in. The women do things that are commonly expected of men. These stories are a great representation of human complexity irrespective of sex/gender. Just as a man could feel stifled in a relationship, so can a woman (ex. pg 2 of "The Story of an Hour"). And, just a woman can become emotional and snappy, so can a man as depicted in "Dubliners" and "Cathedrals." This just goes to show that gender/sex stereotypes are not concrete. Men and woman can be androgynous to their roles and show a complexity that no one expects.
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